David Glickman Writing Sample – George Walther

This following are excerpts from a speech by professional speaker George Walther. It has been humorized by David Glickman and his added lines are in red.

When I headed off to college in 1967, I stopped by the campus job placement office thinking maybe there was a chance I could find some part-time flexible job so I could pick up some spending money.

Before we had Craig’s List, how did people find jobs? No, we didn’t have Craig’s List. We didn’t have Monster.com. We had something much more high tech. It was called…..the bulletin board.

PROP: 5×7 card with job posting. (I hold it up, as if reading a job posting.)

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Two weeks later I stepped aboard my very first TWA flight headed for Hong Kong with stops in New York, Lisbon, Madrid, Rome, Athens, Tel Aviv, Bombay, Columbo, Bangkok. Kind of like the routing we’d have if Southwest Airlines flew there. No direct flights. And 37 ½ hours later, after sitting in the same seat on the same Boeing 707, I got off in Hong Kong. You know how your backside falls asleep if you’ve been sitting too long. Well, mine was in a coma.

But I had one day to look around Hong Kong before I got on that same flight and came the long way back …and I loved it, even the food. Hey, I was a college student! Mmmm, those …

(And I always asked for the kosher meal. I’m not Jewish, but I knew that they had to prepare the kosher meals separately, so they always tasted better than the regular airline meals.)

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If you and I had met ten years ago—let’s suppose we happened to be seated next to each other on a plane—you might have said, “Hey George, so what takes you to New York?” And I would have said, “New York? I thought this flight was going to Cleveland!. Excuse me.” (pretend like you’re getting up to leave the plane.) No, I’m kidding. I always knew where I was going. I might well have replied, “Well, I’m going to meet with my literary agent. I’m planning my next book tour. Then, I’m going to go to Simon and Schuster, I’m recording an audio program for them on how to give better service on the phone. And then, I’m going to deliver the keynote speech for the American Express call center organization; their national sales meeting.

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You know during the last presidential election , there was a television ad that said, “What if the phone in the White House rang at 3 am? Would the president be able to handle whatever crisis waited on the other end of the phone?” Well, most of us don’t have to worry about solving world crises, but you know darn well, if your phone rings at three in the morning, chances are it’s an issue or event that is going to have some major impact on your life. Now that is a dramatic wake-up call, both literally and figuratively. Unless, of course, it’s a wrong number, and then it’s just a real pain.

And here’s a little tip for you. If you ever get one of those calls at three in the morning, but it’s just someone who’s breathing heavy into the phone—hand the phone to your spouse and say, “It’s for you.” Yeah, my first wife didn’t think that was funny, either.

For my 25^th birthday, I went completely around the world, for the 13^th time! Now, lest you think I’m some kind of high-flyin’ jet setter, remember the tickets were completely free and I sought out 14 cents a night kind of places. I still do. Just a few months ago I went to the Middle East and stayed in Youth Hostels. I’ve now traveled in 99 countries and I love adventure travel with a passion. I guess you could say I was the original “Curious George.” Although I have no memories of traveling with a man in yellow hat. (pause) Well, there was that one trip to Turkey, but, you know, I don’t really like to talk about that.

But here’s my point. You don’t need to get on a plane to have an adventure. You don’t need to travel around the world. You don’t have to fly to Uganda. You don’t even need to go to Epcot, where they have replicas of all the countries.